Moving on after a break up: Not a loss but a fresh start.

Heartbreaks are, well, heartbreaking. The sudden loss of the person you thought would be by your side forever is devastating. You may still catch yourself hearing a joke, so you turn to watch your partner laugh, only to realize they're gone.  

But after you're done comfort binging romcoms and Ben and Jerry's, it's time to take care of you. The loss your relationship leaves doesn't mean the end of your world. It's time to create a fresh start.  

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Here are five steps to take back your life and move past a lost love. You can come out of this smarter, more confident, and more financially stable and prepared for a new love.  

1. Look after your health.  

After a break up it's important to take care of yourself. Now's a great time to start a new exercise routine or get a massage. You could even go all out on a spa day. Try healthy new Pinterest meals or try your hand at meal planning. Meal planning can be a great way to make your food budget last longer too!  

2. Pick up a new hobby.  

Besides taking your mind off your ex, a new hobby is a great way to meet new people. This can spur exciting new friendships and even a potential new romance. Look for classes around your neighborhood. Libraries are a great source for free or low-cost classes.  

3. Reconnect with friends and family.  

No one wants to be that person who disappears in a relationship, but we all do a little. After a breakup, your friends and family are there to support you and help you get back on your feet. Listen to them, and go have some fun creating new experiences. You don't need your ex to have fun.  

4. Spend some extra time focusing on your career.  

Like friends and family, sometimes your career can take a back seat during a relationship. Now is a great time to throw yourself headfirst into the runnings. Keeping busy will keep you distracted which in turn keeps the heartbreak at bay. Plus, a promotion on the horizon is always rewarding!  

5. Make your money work for you.  

Relationships can be expensive! Date nights, little gifts, eating for two, birthdays, anniversaries, if you need some support on your marriage, I offer a free call to help you clarify things- schedule it HERE!

Couples and Relationships: 4 Things Couples Should Shape Up Their Mutual Finances

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Handling your finances is one of the biggest metrics that determine when you've reached adulthood in the eyes of society, your parents, and potential romantic partners. Not having your finances in order is also something that can cause unwanted tension in a relationship, Living paycheck to paycheck has a sort of grunge appeal for those who like the starving artist lifestyle, but anyone who's been on that diet for a while will recommend getting your act together in a big hurry.

So, whether you're just starting a relationship, or you're thinking about popping the question, here are 4 finance basics every couple needs to have on lockdown.

#1: Banking

Unless your wages are so low that you use check cashing services exclusively (which is a reality for a lot of people out there), you probably use a bank. And while you might think, "what's the big deal? A bank is a bank," they really aren't all the same. For starters, ask if your bank requires a minimum balance to keep your account open. Look at the kinds of overdraft fees they charge, and ask if there's an annual service fee. Lastly, if you have a money market account, or a savings account, look at what sort of interest your bank is giving you. You might be getting screwed without even thinking about it.

#2: Bills

We all know how bills work. They show up in the mail, you send them a check, and everyone's happy. However, you might be paying a lot more for your bills simply because you're not looking at them. For example, if you are paying a monthly car insurance or medical insurance bill, see how much money you'd save if you bought your insurance in 6 month intervals instead. That can take a chunk out of your savings for right now, but that hole will fill in pretty quickly over the next six months. Ask your power company if they give you a discount for enrolling in an automated bill paying plan, and see if your Internet provider can cut you a deal on your package. A lot of the time you can spend less just by asking.

#3: Budgeting

If you had economics in school, you know how budgeting works. You sit down, figure out how much money you make a month, and then figure out how much you spend. If you know your gym membership is $19.99 a month, you put that in your budget. If you know your Internet is $39.99 a month, you put that in your budget. Fill out all the things that are a solid fee every month first.

Once you have your known values, you assign the variables. For example, sometimes your power bill is $25, and sometimes it's $50. You're better off assuming that it will be $50, because that way you have money left over at the end if it's low. The same goes for your fuel costs, and any other costs that are central to your life. After that's figured out, you assign a value to everything else. That's food, clothes, savings, entertainment, etc.

A word to the wise; don't budget down to the penny if you don't have to. A flexible budget is a forgiving budget, and you should be able to cover costs as you need to. Small costs, like a hike in gas prices or needing to get a new pair of shoes for work, anyway. Bigger costs will have to come out of savings.

#4: Plan Long-Term

This one doesn't start with a B, but it's no less useful. One of the keys to financial success is being able to plan for long-term goals in your life. For example, rather than buying a cheap $20 pair of work shoes every two months, buy a $60 pair of work shoes that will last for several years. Rather than buying fast food for lunch every day, buy bulk food you can eat for weeks.

A lot of this seems like common sense, but it's surprising how much money we save once we start knuckling down on our in-the-moment pleasures, and keep our eyes on the long-term prize.

I offer a 45 minute complimentary Clarity Session to show you how I can help you. Click here to book your session now!