If you have experienced unhealthy relationships in your life, it can be difficult to trust – not just a significant other but also your own judgement. This can stem back to childhood, if you lived in a home where you experienced domestic violence. If you are an adult survivor, it can connect to that as well.
Not all relationships are unhealthy, so how do you rebuild your ability to trust after surviving such experiences? There is no exact formula, but there are several steps we can take to help us trust.
- Be honest with yourself and your partner. Healing doesn’t happen overnight. You need to have compassion for yourself. Being honest with your partner is difficult if you’ve experienced unhealthy relationships, but your partner deserves that honesty.
- Seek help from trained professionals. There is no shame in scheduling an appointment with a therapist. Let the therapist help you tackle issues of distrust. They have a clinical, outside perspective that can aid you along in your process of trust.
- Write about your issues. Writing is cathartic and therapeutic. By slowing yourself down to really focus on issues such as trust, you can work through them.
- Listen to your heart and mind. Ask yourself, am I not trusting my partner because of my own trust issues? Or is something funky going on that I need to be concerned about? Learning to trust your heart and mind can help you help yourself.
- Feel the pain. We don’t go to bed one night and wake up healed. It’s a process. Hiding the pain inside is like hiding the problem. You can’t grapple with it, working through it for a better future without acknowledging what hurts.
It’s important to trust yourself and your partner. You deserve a happy future with someone you love. You also deserve to love yourself. So, practice trusting and give yourself a little compassion.
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