So much has been said about the importance of communication in relationships. Whole books have been written about it, including the well-known Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. And still, the distance between Mars and Venus continues. No one knows how to heal the rift.
And the worst thing is that once there is a miscommunication, it quickly snowballs into more and more miscommunication until you’re having a full-blown fight. If this describes you and your partner, here are some questions you might want to ask yourself:
Do You Have the Same Core Values?
Sometimes, the problem is not really a lack of communication but certain essential differences between people. One person might believe in the joys of having children while the other might think of children as unnecessary baggage. One person might not think too much about sex before marriage while the other person might believe in celibacy.
These are core beliefs which are very hard to alter and you need to think about whether you can live with them. In the case of celibacy, the problem is solved after getting married. But in the case of children, it’s something you might have to live with for the rest of your life. So think about whether it’s a problem of miscommunication or whether it’s really a difference in core beliefs.
Have You Done Everything You Can?
The truth is that everyone knows the secret of good communication. If you look back at all your good relationships, what do they have in common? A willingness to listen? Respecting the other person’s boundaries? General kindness? Praise and encouragement? No matter how you put it, the end result is the same—getting along, having a good time, having fun etc.
You need to seriously ask yourself whether you’re doing these things in your relationship now. Most people find that the key to good communication is in their hands; they just have to use it.